John Lee On: Cargo Drawers

John doens't like cargo drawers very much. Personally I think it's because they tend to be build at home systems, and John is jealous because he seems to have zero ability to do anything by himself. That's why he likes Genuine Land Rover parts so much, they're pre-engineered and come with easy to follow instructions to bolt them on. Also, since they are typically built and not sold, he can't make any money off them. He would prefer to sell you Pelican cases to store your gear. In fact, he'd love to sell you one of the most expensive Pelican cases made, the Pelican 0450 7 drawer tool chest for $565.

Unfortunately, I don't have the pictures that go with this. If anybody has a spare login for their forum, you could help us make this Blog even better. ;)

John Lee:

Hey guys, check out my sweet cargo drawer system:

The factory cargo area sucks. It just didn't meet my specific needs. So I decided to build a drawer system. It took time, but I built it myself. It was very rewarding. I even used hardwood veneer for that little classy touch.

The two pics above are just after completion, so the drawers are empty. The pics below show the capability of my drawer system.

Left drawer:

Let's see. There's so much there that an inventory would be difficult. But we have a Rand impact, an inflator, a hose, a Safety Seal kit, and something else in a blow-molded case.

You can see just how efficient these drawers are. The right drawer is even nicer:

What do we have here? Some channel locks, some dikes, electronic pliers, needlenose pliers, a circuit testers, nine sockets, and some miscellaneous junk in the rear. I'm especially proud of my carpet job and the rubber tie-downs. These rubber tie-downs are rated for a 50 lb. capacity. So you know they're the real deal.

I designed a clever two-level system for this drawer because I'm all about maximizing the usable space I have. Here's the right-hand drawer with the top level removed:

Just look at that assortment of tools. I have an entire ratchet there, plus eight wrenches, four screwdrivers, and seven (!) nut drivers.

As you can see, I maximized the usable space in my already-small FJ Cruiser. The hours of time and effort to build these drawers was well worth it. I could have put all of this stuff into two small duffel bags, but I much prefer the drawers.


What does John's $565, 45 lbs empty, waterproof, drop proof, dust proof, lockable Pelican tool box look like?

Well, first of all, it takes up half of his rear storage space:



But, I'm sure he's got a whole lotta super awesome tools in there right, since he's an expedition badass. Let's see:



Hmmm. He's got an air hose. That's rubber, prone to impact damage. Good thing it's in a Pelican case. He's got a funnel. You don't want those to get wet. And, he's got some other junk inside another Pelican case!



Now this one has a lot of inventory. He has a couple wratchets, and some sockets. Look how efficiently they are packed. Also notice the rich patina of use on all of John's tool. As you can see, he prefers Snap-On tools, not because they're a fancy name brand, but because a professional must be able to rely on his tools for years and years of hard use!



Check this drawer. This is where he keeps his salt and pepper shaker. And his Snow Peak titanium utensils. They're titanium for light weight. That's very important when travelling Fast and Light. They're stored inside a HD nylon pouch that weighs more than they do, because a fork failure in the field would be devastating. Then they are stored inside a 45 lb tool box. Fast and light!



This drawer holds a fragile rubber hammer. And another wratchet. I think he should label the contets of these drawers so he can find everything.



This drawer has the goods. This has the most important items of all. Worm Screw clamps from Home Depot! These are very important when trying to slow down the leaks on a Land Rover. Also note the Knipex pliers. Snap On pliers are for white trash. These are the real deal. Again, check out the patina of use.



And in the top drawer, the backup HT radio. To call for help should his Land Rover break down halfway between his shop and his house in suburbia.

Pelican Cases

Mike Rupp:

My axe is inside a pelican that is ratchet strapped down. I wouldn't have an axe out in the open inside my truck, regardless how well it appears to be tied down.

John Lee On: Trasharoo

We think the Trasharoo is a pretty good idea. Most of us were already hanging garbage bags from our spare tires anyway, might as well make something that works at a little better. The Trasharoo is smart, well made, and not even very expensive.

But that's not what John thinks:

From my way of looking at things, this Trasharoo Mk2 is another example of a product that was made worse by over-featuring to appeal to the McMorons.

Frankly, I'm not a fan of the Trasharoo. The name is white trash. And the concept of a hispeed trash bag is aesthetically unsetting to me. However, I think it is a decent product. It's a trash bag for the spare. Not what I would invent, but I've seen far worse. I wouldn't be caught dead with a Trasharoo on my truck, but in the big picture of things it's really not that bad.

But then you have the attempts to improve upon the Trasharoo. Make it more versatile. More modular. More features. So you add the MOLLE loops to make the Trasharoo configurable. What, are you going to configure your trash layout or something? Then you add the extra pockets to increase its numeric capacity or perhaps hold spare magazines or something. You make it available in black, tan, and olive drab to appeal to the McMilitary wannabes. Are these genuine improvements to the design? Or, are they simply add-ons to make the product more appealing to McPeople? I think the latter.

One might argue that the Trasharoo Mk2 is not inferior to the first version, because the Mk2 does everything the original did. And the Mk2 can do more. I think this is the wrong way to look at things. There's a certain point where something gets worse with the addition of more. Look at it like seasoning on food. It's quite obvious that more is not better when it comes to seasoning. Even the McMorons can understand this. Why they cannot understand this when it comes to design or utility remains a mystery to me.

It's not even a little ironic that John sells Pelican cases in black, tan and olive dfab (must be the accent) as well... to appeal to the McMilitary wannabes. Let's not forget the black, olive and dfab weaponry either. John also sells dividers to put in your Pelican case. Because a waterproof, dustproof, gasketted, locking, vented, fiber reinforced box to put your shit in didn't have enough features yet.

John Disbarred?

So John claims to be a lawyer. Or ex-lawyer. Whatever. It's sort of difficult to verify or disprove this due to John Lee being such a common name. But we have to ask:

What kind of a lawyer in L.A. would give up a lawyer's income to run a two-bit off-road truck and gun shop? I mean seriously? This leads us to one of a few conclusions.

Was John disbarred? It's not hard to imagine that John had one of his Tourette's outburst in a courtroom and called the judge a degenerate or chump.

Maybe he was just a terrible lawyer and couldn't get a job at a decent firm? This isn't hard to imagine either, what with John's extremely linear thought process, predictability, or apparent narcissistic personality disorder.

I mean, what self-respecting lawyer would be caught dead wearing this. Even the cameramen are better dressed than him!



(And, did they stuff Pelican cases under her shirt or what, holy crap!)

And, what kind of a lawyer in SoCal would ever drive a clapped out old Land Rover?



We're not sure, but if you have any input on the matter, please let us know.

The Gospel According to John

Some people may wonder where all this material comes from. That's easy, it comes from John Lee's little corner of the web, his own forum at Expedition Exchange. http://www2.expeditionexchange.com/forums/index.php?

This is where John comes to preach The One Truth to his followers. Just like Jesus' disciples, John's followers unquestioningly hang on his every word. They bask in the glory that is John's wisdom, and praise his name. So it is written, so shall it be done.

John's forum is where he has handed down his 10 Commandments to his disciples:

Thou shalt not put a tent on your roof
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's trailer
Thou shalt not drive trucks other than Rover
Thou shalt not testify negatively about Expedition Exchange on other forums
Thou shalt not leave Southern California for more than 7 days. Per year.
Thou shall purchase thy equipment at inflated prices
Thou shalt give thanks to John, by always photographing your food before eating
Thou shalt always wear an expensive watch, even while wearing clothes from Walmart
Thy firearms shalt always be solidly colored black, olive green, or dark brown
Thou shalt always put thy possessions in Genuine Pelican Cases

This is the only forum John posts on. John does not allow dissenting opinion on his forum. He claims that only customers of Expedition Exchange can gain access to the gates of his forum. Yet it is known that he denies access to non-believers, while simultaneous taunting them and claiming they have access but are too afraid.

The most relevant chapters of John's gospel are contained in the threads titled:

Plumbers' snorkels are old news
Classless
Omega Speedmaster
Need Field Kitchen Advice
Interesting email Exchange
Grocery Getter

These deceptive titles belie the wisdom that is contained therein. These are the threads in which John unleashes his venom on his enemies. He invites all people to read his great works, but does not allow comment, lest they speak untruths.

John himself has been banned and chased off by non-believers from many other forums. Even ones his own business partner Ho Chung control: www.Discoweb.org

The $200 Corkscrew

Not just any corkscrew will do for Expedition Exchange. When you're spending a whole day away from the comforts of Los Angeles, you'd best bring some wine with you so you can project your high status to the other lowlifes in domestic 4x4's that you're sharing the trail with. John recommends Chateau Canon La Gaffeliere, carefully stored in a pelican case, of course.

And when you're uncorking your wine, don't be a barbarian and use the corkscrew included with your Swiss Army knife. Use one of these beautiful corkscrews lovingly hand made by French craftsmen. Afterall, it's what The Queen's servants use. John would be would be happy to supply you with such a fine instrument, stamped with the Land Rover logo for the extra touch of class.





Master the art of opening wine with the Land Rover GEAR Sommelier Tool. The Sommelier Tool features fragrant olive wood inlays and is manufactured for Land Rover by Laguiole Cutlers of France. Like all good corkscrews, the Sommelier Tool is the lever type for easier pulling of corks. A groove cut into the screw eases resistance and facilitates insertion without affecting grip on the cork during pulling. The foil cutter is hooked and serrated to facilitate cutting of lead and aluminum foil, and features a second hook for opening glass bottles. Pelican 1030 case included.

Holy shit! A groove cut into the screw eases resistance and facilitates insertion without affecting grip on the cork during pulling. Are we still talking about a Sommelier Tool here, or Jack's tool?

Expedition Style

So, John and the crew at Expedition Exchange have a very strong sense of style. When off-roading, there's only one way to roll: Their Way. They don't like large 4x4 campers. They hate trailers. Those are for white trash. Cool explorers only drive suave vehicles like Defenders and Discoveries, and only equiped with the finest kit available from Land Rover and approved by The Queen.

Nevermind that they never travel more than 145 miles from a McDonalds, and rarely for more than a few days at a time, a week at the most. Regardless, the correct way to carry gear is on the roof. To hell with the CG, or your axle weight ratings. Take the biggest, heaviest roof rack you can find, and load it with your gear. And don't forget: Always put your gear in a Pelican Case. It doesn't matter what it is, your clothes, a sleeping bag, or toilet paper, it's gotta be in a case. You see, even though they think they're keeping the CG reasonable by only putting "light" stuff up on the roof, they like to quadruple the weight by putting it in a heavy case to protect it from.... what? I'm not sure what kinda of impact could damage a towel, but damn it, put it in a case!

Yes, 20lbs of gear, safely packed in 220 pounds of fiber-reinforced plastic case and strapped into a 180lb roof rack. That's the way to travel! That's STYLE!

Does this remind you of something?