Thursday, August 12, 2010

Insomia? Here, watch this.

Here's a video of JSQ on an extreme expedition with his white UN Edition Land Rover. Yes, this is hosted on UTube, and posted at Expedition Exchange. Not a single deragatory comment of course, because the EE crew is tyte like that.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Cutlery

Just to show how they are such hardcore extreme fast and light expeditioneers, the EE crew don't use plastic utensils, or God forbid Coleman, or even a cheap stainless steel set from Walmart... No, they all like to use Snow Peak Titanium greywear. It's HiSpeedLoDrag.



We find it curious that the utensiles are flimsy titanium things, in the name of saving weight, yet they come with a nylon cordura carry case. The case probably weighs as much as the utensils. The whole thing probably weighs as much as a stainless steel camping set that wouldn't need a case.

Well, they must work really well though right? I mean, that's a high precision spoon, that makes eating your oatmeal faster. And I'm sure the fork has extra holding power. No, by their own admission:

ChrisVonC:

The Snow Peak knife from the 3-piece titanium silverware. With all the love SP puts into their stuff, they couldnt make the knife serrated? Seriously, for the love of God, put a little bit of bite on this thing. I love the size of the set, the case, the weight, the ease of clean up, but fuck me, anytime I want to cut something other than warm butter, I go insane.


So, John "built" his cutlery set:

I sharpened my Snow Peak "knife". I didn't go psycho and put some Edge Pro action on it. I just wanted something more than a butter knife.

Well, I wouldn't call what I have an "edge". I simply turned the radiused sheet into a V. "Bevel" might be more accurate.

It's not sharp at all. I can put my finger to it and run it across and I won't get cut. But it beats trying to cut with a radius.


Heaven forbid you throw out that piece of shit kiddie knife, and actually bring one with a real edge. Fuck me.

CVC goes on:

I'll try that on mine. I bought 2 sets of the Brunton TI because the knive is serrated but they are longer and have no bag to store them in so I still go for my SP set when camping. I keep a set here at work for when I bring my lunches in rather than trying to find plastic crap to eat with and they are easy to clean.

So Chris brings the non-functional Snow Peak knife camping, and uses the Brunton set at work. Plastic is too hard to find. Stainless steel cutlery is too pedestrian. Brunton Titanium tells his coworkers that he's all Extreme Expedition, but still down-to-earth because he saves his Japanese-made TI cutlery for his real trips.

Why is Titanium cutlery preferred by the EE crowd? Stainless Steel melts at only 2500 degrees. Titanium is good to at least 2800. That could make or break your trip to Moab. I mean Jesus, you could be up to 50 miles away from a McDonalds where you can get some finger food if you have a cutlery malfunction. That's some scary shit right there.

Tony Desanto is a such a lame ass, he has to ASK PERMISSION from the messiah if he is allowed to carry a real knife:

Am I carrying too much shit if I actually carry a bonafide steak knife?

But, he's such an ExtremeDouche, that he has to actually seek out a "steak knife" that is not serrated. I have no idea where one even finds such a thing. Probably on the hanger under the tag: "Chef's Knife, Small". This is some more serious sand in the mangina whining here:

I can't stand cutting food with a serrated blade. Not only does it tear the food, I can't stand the thought that I'm sawing my food.

John takes the high road while eating at McDonald's

I couldn't believe my eyes when I read this one. John Lee, Mr. High and Mighty, opera-watching, food-photographing, approved-by-the-Queen-Defender-driving asswipe, admits to eating at McDonalds.

Yes. It's true.

But, not everything at McDonalds is up to standard.

No, he didn't get tipped off by the little "tm" next to the "100% All Beef Patty". I guess he actually likes artificial cheese slices, processed potato starch fries, and "special sauce". The fact that all the chicken meat is blindingly white, even though they use the whole chicken... that's not a problem.

But the McGriddles, they're just a bridge too far for Mr. Lee. The little M stamped in the bun is just too much.

I eat McDonald's all the time. I don't especially like McDonald's food, but I hit the drive-through all the time on my way to somewhere. But I draw the line at this McGriddles thing. The cheesy M on the bun upsets me. And the fact that the bun is supposed to be some pancake with syrup on it and the sandwich is supposed to be like a miniature breakfast in sandwich form is a little insulting.

The fact that a Big Mac is supposed to be a miniature supper in sandwich form, that's OK, however.

John Lee Roasts: 1LegLance

http://www.expeditionportal.com/forum/showpost.php?p=682229&postcount=30

We don't comment on the appearance/style/astethetics around here as I understand things. Function/safety yes but if a person wants to take a sawzall to their rig or drive something more trail carnage than an Iraqui taxi cab then that is fine. If they want to rattle can it cammo that is fine.
As a matter of course my understanding is that we don't brand bash or make negitive comments on anything outside of function/safety.


I hate Wannabe High Road talk like this. Function and safety are fair game, but aesthetics are not. This is moron talk. It's moron talk from McMorons (who can't spell for shit) trying to take the High Road. It's especially moronic for a board like ExPo where 99% of the modifications are done for looks rather than function.

This 1leglance has absolutely no sense of fair play. He thinks that because it's wrong to criticize someone's ugly face, it must also be wrong to criticize someone's car modifications. That the ugly person had no control over his facial features but had control over his his vehicle modifications doesn't even occur to him. He's that stupid.

This 1leglance also cannot seem to grasp the idea that this SpencerFitch hack opened the door to comment (positive or negative) about his build by starting a build thread and posting pics.

I remember this 1leglance guy. I think he's a chump. I can't find the thread, but there was a thread on ExPo where 1leglance thought pics of black rifles were not appropriate for posting on ExPo. I'm guessing if the poster had posted a pic of a Mini-14, 1leglance wouldn't have had any problem with the gun. This 1leglance is just dumb enough to see an AR and think "bad gun" and then see a Mini-14 and think "good gun", even though the "function/safety" of the two weapons are identical and they differ only in "appearance/style/astethetics". This guy is so stupid he doesn't even follow his own nonsensical rules.

And this 1leglance is a moderator on ExPo. This is one reason why ExPo is such a lousy site.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Meet Dan Chapman

Dan is another of John's Disciples. In fact, Dan was converted. He used to be trailer trash, and built this bumper. It has to be the most hideous thing ever created.






How do you open the hood? This is how.



You can't make this shit up.

Dan has repented. He got rid of that POS, bought another truck, and is now starting over. Eventually, his truck will look exactly like the others.

The best part about Dan, is he likes to think he's very knowledgable about mechanics, and particularly likes to criticize others. But then he comes out with stuff like this, and the game is up.

Novadisco asks:

I have a 2004 Disco II SE and noticed the other day I seem to be missing a cover on the bottom of the bell housing? At the very bottom of the bell housing there is a hole approx. 3 inches in diameter with three threaded screw holes. When you look inside you can see the torque converter. My question is, has anyone else lost this cover and driven for a while (three weeks) with out it? The dealer has ordered me a new one and says it is not a big deal? They said it is fine to continue to drive around and they will call me whne it comes in? Your thoughts are much appreciated.

To which Dan responds:

You'll be fine. If you're that worried about it, put some duct tape over it.

So you can unbolt the torque coverter from the fly wheel. It allows you to get a ratchet in there.

You can't make this shit up.

Dan. The torque converter is bolted to the flex plate, not the flywheel. The bolts are accessed from the holes in the front face of the oil pan girdle, not the inspection hole on the bottom of the bellhousing.

What a chump.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Racism

One common thing that John Lee likes to repeat, is talking about "white people". To him it seems, all white people are trailer trash. Yet, when "white people" talk about Asians, using an outdated but non-offensive term, he gets upset. He criticized XJBanker for using the term Oriental at Expo:

So whenever our famiy goes anywhere and a bus of Orential tourists show up they always surround my almost three year old daughter. When we took her to delicate arch in Moab she posed for about twenty different cameras and the people just glanced at the arch. When we went to Toronto and niagara falls people kept stopping us and asking if they could take her picture with o e o them holding her. Today we went to our local air force museum and again a bus of Japanese people showed up, were looking at planes and then saw Gabby and started swarming her way. They got out their video cameras and started filming her. None of them spoke English and then two of the older ladies took her hands and led her away off to more of the group. I went with them and more people started pointing and taking her photo.

Now I know I am her dad and I think that she is cute, but have they never seen a blonde hair blue eyed white girl before. I just think that it is funny that it happens everytime. I even said when they got off the bus today that they were going to come and talk to her. Is it a cultural thing or am I missing something. I really don't mind and think it is nice that they think she is beautiful but I don't think I would stop an oriental family on my trip to film there children.


You know what John, what goes around comes around.

Not to be outdone, Jack recently posted this gem:

Tom is in Romania right now for work. He says that if someone presents you with two hookers as a sign of hospitality it's rude not to strangle one of them. Also, if you hit a gypsy with your Jimny, they are liable for any damages.
Just a few traveling tips.


So from this we conclude that Jack must think:

1)In Romania, prostitution is common.
2)It's OK to kill prostitutes.
3)Landless people have no rights.

Irony

A recent theme over in the Plumber's Snorkel thread has been to laugh at people fitting A/C units in their tents. The same people who list DC powered refridgerators as the absolute "first mod" they would ever do to a new truck, feel that air conditioning is just going too far. Best your sushi stay cool, rather than you, I guess. But, not to be outdone by that bit of irony, others state this:

Ben Little:

They do hate the outdoors. They hate camping. They hate everything about it accept for the part where they get to set up all their camp-trickery.


Stuart Ivie:

There are no winners here, only those who strive for perfection in "I hate the outdoors" camping.

Regarding tent a/c. They might consider adopting one of my primary tenets, which is 'I don't camp when it's too damned hot'.

Simple, especially when considering humidity in the SE US.


So.... Somebody who would actually go outside when it's hot, but manage the situation by bringing air conditioning "hates the outdoors". Yet if you just stay home when it's hot, you love the outdoors.

OK. Got it. I think.

My head hurts.